i guess you really can’t have just one

the barter system is a bitch, and prostitution is the oldest profession in history. While I don’t quite understand the concept of selling my body, I get that some people turn to hooking as a way of finding a quick fix and/or using the money to provide for their families or put themselves through college or something. However, since WHEN did one’s vaginal worth equal a 30-pack of chips?!

Lahoma Sue Smith, 36, was arrested for prostitution. But not just any kind of prostitution, friends – she sold her vag for a box of chips.

Police saw her flashing her lights (a signal that she was looking for the d), and decided to follow her car. When they approached, they found her with her other headlights flashing and a dude in the passenger seat pulling his pants up.

turns out, the man was a Frito-Lay employee, told her that he didn’t have any cash, and Smith evidently said something along the lines of “it’s cool baby, just gimme some free chips.”

that clearly wasn’t verbatim, but you get the point.

now, you’re probably thinking, “well, maybe she has kids to feed.” If that was the case, and you had kids to feed and decided to turn to ‘tutin to feed them, wouldn’t you bone for money so you could pay for actual food for your kids? Maybe you’re thinking, “well, she’s not very attractive, so it was probably hard for her to get paid.” But you know what? That’s not true. This is America. There are plenty of dudes willing to pay for a blow job or some butt from women who look far worse than her, and who likely have less limbs and more bullet holes than her, too.

She’s also apparently terrible at her job, as she told police that she’s been arrested “two or three times” before for prostitution. So no. It’s not the kids, or her looks, or anything equally unreasonable, but at least mildly understandable. It’s what you originally thought: Lahoma Sue Smith fucked and sucked for Cheetos.