“dude, i need you to jerk off again – this recipe calls for half a cup.”

back in my college stoner days, my friends and i came up with a lot of really dumb shit to do. Shooting fireworks off the dorm roof, taking gravity bong hits then driving aimlessly from Connecticut to Rhode Island, hitting a bowl before accepting our diplomas…..

but never.

ever.

did we think it was a good idea to cook with semen.

aww, skeet skeet – the more i look at the cover of this book, the farther i get from understanding why anyone would ever want to add semen to their food. You can get just as much protein from eggs, for godssake. And if you’re a vegan who won’t eat eggs, then what the hell are you doing swallowing a dude’s kids?

How does one come up with this idea, anyway? Does one just stand around one’s house with an abundance of splooge and thinking, “this would be a great way to eat my pancakes AND get my daily protein intake…”? Did some disgruntled waiter jerk off in some cake icing and one noticed that their skin was looking firmer, then put two and two together and decide it would be a great gimmick? Or perhaps this book was written by that one girl or guy who spends SO much time sucking and swallowing that they decided jizz would taste much better in a Caesar salad.

i don’t know, and i don’t care.

all i know is, some sucker is getting this for Christmas, and they are gonna be sooooo mad about it.

and whoever makes a recipe from this book and serves it to friends without warning deserves to get knocked the fuck out.

[thanks to shaun for the info]

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