superhead says eddie winslow tried to kill her…and why i don’t give a shit.

Superhead is apparently going out with Darius McCrary, former “star” (used loosely) of TV’s Family Matters. But I don’t care. Everytime I read about it I don’t care. When I write about it for work I don’t care. But then I find myself writing about it here, but I am still not convinced it means that I care, because I’m writing about how silly it is. But I’m still taking the time to write about it. Damnit. Now what.

If my childhood memory serves me correctly, Eddie Winslow was my least-liked character on Family Matters. At least until Richie and 3J came along. Judy didn’t count. The point is, he wasn’t a huge character on his own TV show, and he pretty much dropped off the face of the earth until I was scrolling through DVD releases while an intern at a magazine and found out that he did some straight-to-DVD movie about being some gigolo who decides he doesn’t wanna be a whore anymore and turns his life around or some shit. I guess I was proud of him for not giving up, but at some point, you just have to accept the fact that it’s a wrap.

At any rate, somewhere in between all that action he started dating Karrine Steffans, best known for being one of the OGs of being famous solely for having a stellar talent of sucking dick and using it to blow famous people in order to jump-start your career. Steffans eventually became known as “Superhead” (cause she gives super head – badum-tsss), and rappers everywhere were lined up to stick their dicks down her VD-infested throat. At any rate, she dipped into her bank of dicks of blows past, culls the names and crazy stories, and decides to put everyone on blast in one book which, due to sick, gossip hungry minds of Americans, became a New York Times bestseller. I didn’t read it, but I did read my friend’s copy on the beach during vacation. It’s written like a high school ho’s Language Arts journal; one can finish it in a solid couple hours if only pausing to pee and/or grab a beer. I digress.

Steffans and McCrary are back in the news because apparently they’re going out, and Eddie (it’s easier to type than “McCrary,” and honestly, which name do you most easily relate to?) allegedly tried to not only choke her a couple months ago at a party, but attempted to run her over with her car a couple days ago.

I’m only pissed about this shit cause I’m convinced it’s a publicity stunt. Either Eddie’s got a lot of extra anger due to the fact that his career has always sucked significantly, or he’s got a plan in mind to get some press, since he probably knows he’s not going to be able to pay his way out of jail. Unless he sells weed. If Eddie Winslow was the weed man in my area, I’d always buy from him, no matter how shitty the pot is. So would you. Let’s be real. Superhead’s quite possibly the Paris Hilton of attention whores, so even if she was totally freaked out about getting ragged up by Eddie Winslow, the devil on her shoulder definitely hi-fived the awesome and possibly lucrative irony of her situation. Whatever Mine would.